


One Hundred Ways

by softheathen



Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Just a series of drabbles to release my brain from writers block hell, M/M, based on a series of prompts I found somewhere on tumblr, yea
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-10-17
Updated: 2017-01-20
Packaged: 2018-08-22 23:07:41
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 17
Words: 9,459
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8304725
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/softheathen/pseuds/softheathen
Summary: To say, "I love you."





	1. Chapter 1

The rain slicked roads burned threateningly in the tired eyes of a brown haired boy. The drone of the wipers and the silent, but evident breathing of the boyfriend lazily tracing patterns against the slowly fogging window the only noises to be brought to life. Exhaustion nipped at Tyler's body, turning his insides to jelly and diverting his attention from the most important thing.

Keeping them alive by not wrecking the car.

They had three hours left to drive to their destination, the night sky hung heavy and dreary in the air above the vehicle. Tyler was determined to stay awake for the entire venture, though not the safest idea; he had stayed up for longer periods of time and been more functional, what would the difference be now?

Tyler heard a heavy sigh from the seat beside him, not taking a chance in directing his focus from the repetitive outlines of the road beyond them. He smiled softly to himself, releasing one hand off the wheel momentarily to twist the volume knob slightly. Springing the car from silence, to feeling more alive again.

Rain beat heavily against the windshield as the soft tones of some Keaton Henson song drifted easily through the atmosphere, the music had been Josh's request, but the mixture of the calming sounds of the softened guitar and the heavy rain pushed Tyler's exhaustion to it's breaking point.

A loud yawn escaped Tyler's lips, one that he so desperately moved to cover up with the back of his left hand. He couldn't fight off the smile that followed as the golden melody of his boyfriends laughter filled through the restraints of the car.

_“Pull over. Let me drive for awhile.”_


	2. Chapter 2

  
Tyler's head ached.

He was no stranger to relentless headaches. A sound that echoed through his brain resonating waves of pain that felt the same as a repetitive blow to the center of his head. Breathing hurt, the filtering light passing through the blowing curtains of his bedroom hurt. Every small motion that shouldn't have brought him pain, definitely did.

The sounds of the birds chirping outside, a sound that was usually so incredibly calming to the doe-eyed boy, now sent flares of pain through the inside of his skull. Tears formed in his eyes as he pressed his hands desperately over his ears, blocking the noise from breaking through the silence he created.

He pressed his face into the comfort of his pillow, attempting to force his body in a comfortable state. He wanted nothing more than to fall asleep for a few hours, because maybe then he'd wake up and the headache will have slowed down.

Tyler cringed when he felt the phone on the bed beside him vibrate, and although his head was pounding and his mind refused to form coherent thoughts, he picked it up. Letting out a soft whine when he pressed the home screen and allowed the light to infiltrate his eyesight.

He smiled weakly at the text that lit up the screen, alerting him that his boyfriend was on his way home from work. He dropped the phone drop back towards the mattress, not flinching as the device bounced and toppled to the carpet of the floor.

-

When he rose from his sleep the sun hung low in the sky, his eyes falling over the golden glow that spread across the white comforter. An unstoppable smile spread across his cheeks once he took notice of the only dull ache that now fell across his mind. He took a deep breath, allowed his eyes to fall shut and rolled over.

His eyes flicked back open when his body hit a warmth beside him, and the smile on his face lit up as he snuggled closer against the beaming body of his boyfriend. Josh's smile was wide, his face illuminated eloquently by the glow of the sun. He felt a soft warmness spread across his chest as Josh wrapped his arms around his thin body.

"Headaches?" Josh questioned, his lips pressing gently to the hair against Tyler's forehead.

Tyler nodded, leaning his head into Josh's touch and sending a weak smile in his direction. His eyes narrowed as a stuffy that had been left on reckless abandoned on their bedside table caught his eye. The stuffed deer was fluffy, it's fur sticking out in the most adorable of ways. Josh caught his line of vision and reached over for it, pressing the soft black nose to his own nose. Tyler crinkled his nose and shied away from the touch, allowing a soft laugh to escape his lips.

Josh nestled the deer beside the two in the bed, allowing Tyler's hands to slip down and wrap around the comfortable fur of the stuffed animal. "Why'd you bring this home?"

_"It reminded me of you."_


	3. Chapter 3

The doorbell rang, shocking Tyler from his softened slumber against the secondhand couch that had been passed down to him. It's uncomfortable cushions letting out a groan at the stress of the weight being transferred off it. He rolled his puffy eyes at the slight sound and shuffled his way towards the door; his feet dragging lazily against the floor.

He was confused of course, nobody usually rang the doorbell at this time. And although the notion sent a small wave of panic through his system, he brushed it off and made quick work of the deadbolt, twisting the flimsy brass handle in its place to pull the sturdy steel door open.

His heart simultaneously skipped a beat and breathed it's own sigh of relief as he caught sight of his red-haired boyfriend. He was leaning against the doorway with a heavy looking bag and a completely filled drink tray. Tyler's eyebrows shot up in confusion as he stepped forward, relieving the shorter man from the weight of an extra tray.

He stepped inside, motioning for Josh to enter in beside him. After all, this was his house. He wasn't sure what else he was supposed to do, steal the drinks and the food and push his boyfriend back out the door? Absolutely not.

He let out a loud laugh when Josh stole the tray from his arms, setting it down along with his large bag in order to swoop Tyler into his arms, wrapping his body around Tyler's own as he lifted the taller boy into his arms. He peppered gentle kisses against the side of Tyler's collarbone, earning a soft gasp and chuckle that filled through the air. He wrapped his arms around Josh's neck loosely in order to stabilize himself, pressing a soft kiss to the dry hair of his boyfriend.

Josh released him with a soft sigh, spreading a smile across his lips that Tyler was sure he could feel the sunshine radiating off of his face. He quickly followed suit, eyes flickering back to the large bag and drink tray.

"Oh, I thought you might be hungry so I stopped off at a few places after work!" He beamed, picking up the tall white cylindrical cup and handing it in Tyler's direction, he made quick of wrapping his hand around its frame. "Chai tea latte, I knew it's your favorite."

Tyler felt heat rise to his cheeks, a grin spreading across his own face as he thought about the gesture. He had only told the shorter boy about this drink once before, on their first date. Through some unreasonable force, he had remembered. "Never fail me do you?" His voice tinted with laughter as he watched Josh shyly wring his hands at his side.

"What kind of partner would I be if I failed you? Not a very good one, that's for sure." He moved back towards the drink tray, a melodic tune humming through the air as he picked another cup from the tray, holding that one out towards Tyler as well. He hesitantly drew out his free hand, grabbing the cup and pulling it close to his chest. "And another one of your favorites? Well, I hope. I remembered you ordered it last time we went out, I even got light ice!" Tyler looked down at his cup, his eyes wide and his eyebrows raised in disbelief.

"Josh, what the fuck, two drinks? How much am I gonna owe you after this?"

Josh shook his head heavily, stepping forward and loosely wrapping his arms around Tyler's neck, earning a loud laugh and a wide smile from the lanky boy.

_“No, no, it’s my treat.”_


	4. Chapter 4

There was nothing in Tyler's body that would ever convince him that he appreciated the way suits felt. He felt confined within them, the edges and curves wrapped too fully around his lanky sides. He distasted the way he looked in suits.

He stood in the sights of the bathroom mirror, his eyes tracing over the pale blue shower tiles opposed to his freshly suited body. He let out a soft sigh, looking back towards himself and brushing a lazy hand through dark messy hair.

He didn't want to be wearing this, but he was certain that if he had worn anything else, his brother might have burned him at the stake. Zack had chosen him as his best man, he had to honor the position at least a little bit. Of course, he wanted to look good for Zack and Tatum's wedding, but he didn't exactly appreciate having to sit in a state of discomfort for the rest of the day, but of course. It was inevitable.

He pulled his tie off the counter, an exasperated sigh leaving his lips as he slung it over his shoulder. Messing around with his hair once again as he debated how to go about applying this contraption. He had never managed to fully grasp a hold of them, and so now here he was. Standing in front of a mirror, deciding on the best way to royally mess it up.

A small knock at the door drew Tyler from his thoughts, and he reached forward to pull open the brass handle of the door. Stepping forward to allow Josh entry into the bathroom. Josh stood behind Tyler, smiling sheepishly into the mirror as he caught his eye.

Josh's suit clashed in a way Tyler never thought would be aesthetically pleasing until he had seen it, the light grey fabric matching wholeheartedly with the bright blue of his hair.

"Are you all ready to go?" Josh's voice was soft, the calming chocolate that it always had been.

"Well, yeah. I can't figure out my tie yet though."

Josh let out a soft laugh, removing the tie from Tyler's shoulder and smoothing it out between calloused fingers.

“ _Come here. Let me fix it.”_

 

 

 


	5. Chapter 5

The rain beat heavily down on the windows outside of the coffee shop, two happy boys sat comfortably curled together in one of the booths. The soft red upholstery comfortable to lean against, and the warmth of each other bringing more comfort than anticipated. Tyler's legs were thrown haphazardly over Josh's lap, his eyes making careful watch to make sure his shoes wouldn't disrupt the appearance of Josh's uniform.

Josh had gotten a job at one of the nearest coffee shops to their house, they needed some way to pay for stuff. And Tyler's part time job at the grocery store didn't exactly put food on the table. Tyler was jealous that Josh's job as a barista paid more, but he would never be angry about it.

The shop was calm and quaint, every single item of decoration and furniture blended nicely with the teal and red walls of the surrounding area. There were posters of organization, and handwritten menus that Tyler identified as his boyfriend's own cursive. He smiled softly at the thought and leaned forward, pressing his face gently into the shoulder of Josh's coffee stained uniform. The soft playlist of indie music was gently pulling Tyler into a state of utter relaxation. He didn't want to fall asleep at a booth at his boyfriends work, so he pressed a gentle kiss to Josh's forehead before he scrambled across his lap and rose to his feet.

Josh looked up in confusion, his mocha eyes searching Tyler's own. He raised his eyebrows and Tyler smiled, leaning forward to press a gentle kiss to the space between his eyelids. "I gotta go, I should let you spend a little bit of time by yourself before your break ends."

It was Tyler's turn to raise his eyebrows as he watched Josh rise to his own feet, effortlessly lacing his fingers through Tyler's as he lead them towards the front door of the shop. The bell jingling incessantly into the air as Josh pressed a hand to the glass.

"Josh, what are you doing? You have to get back to work soon." Tyler's eyes narrowed as Josh sent him a smile that lit up the grey and rainy world around them.

_“I’ll walk you home.”_


	6. Chapter 6

Though it wasn't a part of Josh's regular routine previously, he awoke every morning at 5:30. His eyes were tired for hours after hand, and he struggled every moment just to keep himself awake. But the smile he'd see on his boyfriend's face would make the fatigue worthwhile.

He rubbed the sleep out of his eyes once his mind rose him from his slumber. His head felt as if it was aching and he groaned, debating just rolling back over and curling into Tyler's side once again. He shook his head gently, moving the blankets slowly off of his body as to not wake the sleeping figure beside him. He leaned over briefly to press a gentle kiss to the matted mop of brown hair on the pillow next to his own before sliding out of the bed silently.

He particularly placed his movements against the hollowed out hardwood, careful to not step on the planks that would most certainly release an unpleasant sound. He slipped out the door and left it halfway open, to reduce the amount of sound he'd make and to make it easier for Tyler when he finally roused from his sleep.

He made his way down the stairs, his left hand ghosting across the mahogany handrail as he let out a yawn much too loud. He cursed himself silently as he continued down the stairs.

When he reached the kitchen he pulled out the many packages of tea that lined the countertops, searching for something that he himself would be interested in for the morning at hand, and Tyler's regular. He smiled softly as he grasped the gradient blue box that contained Tyler's favorite tea; Royal English Breakfast.

He hummed a simple tune to himself as he set up the kettle, another light yawn escaping his lips as he turned on the stovetop, placing the heavy metal atop and settling himself against the countertop adjacent to provide himself some slight comfort as he would await the pot to whistle.

He placed two mugs on the counter, the matching ones Tyler had bought the two of them months in advance. He traced the monogrammed "J" softly in admiration as he filled the small metallic steeper with his Buttered Rum tea, dropping the circular contraption into the bottom of the mug. He dropped the teabag in Tyler's matching "T" mug before he hoisted himself on the counter, allowing his body to fall into relaxation as he settled against the granite.

\--

Tyler came down the stairs some thirty minutes later, his work uniform already pulled over his lanky body and a vision of tiredness pulled over the features of his face. Josh admired it nonetheless.

When he caught sigh of Josh against the counter, his white mug between his fingers as his eyes held closed as he took a gentle sip of the liquid inside. He smiled wide, and he was sure he smiled even wider as he caught sight of his mug against the countertop, close to Josh's hip.

Tyler hasn't noticed he was staring until Josh dragged his mind away, a gentle "Good morning." filling through the air like softened caramel. Tyler smiled, padding his way over to Josh and hoisting himself up onto the counter beside him, grasping his own mug gently between his own hands.

He settled his head against Josh's shoulder and pressed a soft kiss to the nape of his neck, basking in the chirping of birds that could be heard through the windows, his boyfriend, and the scent of his favorite tea.

\--

Josh followed Tyler to the front door, adjusting his name tag mindlessly as Tyler slipped on his uncomfortable looking loafers. He gathered Tyler into his arms, a small smile on his face as he traced a gentle pattern on his back before pulling back. He placed a gentle kiss atop of Tyler's head, smiling wide.

_"Have a good day at work."_

 


	7. Chapter 7

A sigh fell from chapped lips as the morning sun hit the warm bodies that lay lifeless in a comfortable bed. Their bodies intertwined together, small smiled gracing unconscious faces. The birds chirping echoing through the window rose the younger man from his slumber, pulling him from his dreams and waking him up from his comfortable state.

Tyler's eyes fluttered open, squinting at the light as he waited for them to readjust. He smiled softly as he listened to the air flowing around him, the wind from the fan hitting his face and blowing his softened hair around his puffy face.

He rolled over in the bed, a soft smile gracing his face as his eyes traced the sleeping body of the red-haired boy beside him, and he wasted no time in settling closer beside him, wrapping the blankets tightly around himself. He leaned forward, breathing in the gentle scent of lavender and vanilla that radiated off of Josh.

Tyler's eyes traced with gentle ease across the soft features of Josh's body, hesitantly lifting his hand to trace his fingertips along the side of his chest, a soft noise escaped Josh's lips, earning a ghosted laugh to fall from Tyler's lips. His fingers did not stop at his sides, he gently traced them up the side of his neck, his fingers tracing patterns against sleepy lips and reddened cheeks. The hands movement only receded once he watched the mocha brown eyes flutter open wide, in confusion.

Tyler bit his lip gently in embarrassment, moving his hand slowly away from Josh's stubbly cheek. Josh stopped his hand in its movement, resting his own larger hand atop of Tyler's.

"Hi." Josh's voice was raspy, sleep resonating through the sound and causing a larger smile to spread across Tyler's cheeks.

"Morning, sleepyhead." Tyler muttered, slipping farther under his blanket and scooting closer to Josh's warm body, his arms wrapping loosely around Josh's waist. He leaned his forehead closer, pressing a gentle kiss to Josh's shoulder. Josh hummed gently, his arms spreading themselves loosely around Tyler's shoulder, his chin resting gently atop the younger boy's head.

"I had a really good dream."

Tyler's eyes narrowed in speculation as he began to trace patterns across Josh's back in silence, kissing his shoulder once again.

"What did you dream about?"

_“I dreamt about you last night.”_


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for this one, but I completely forgot that this whole thing was a 100 ways to say I love you, not ways to introduce yourself. So, this is like a meeting scene. The next one will be cuter I promise.

There was one thing that Tyler dreaded about his daily commute to and from work, and that was the fact that he had to take the city bus. Not only did the large moving bullet smell like urine and bad breath, but he was deathly afraid of being stuck in confined areas with strangers who he had no interest in getting to know.

Tyler stepped hesitantly into the vehicle, dropping the fare of three dollars into the small tin that was held at the front of the bus. The short angry-looking driver gave him a sharp nod, looking back towards the oncoming road towards them, and Tyler gulped, walking towards the crowded area. He felt anxiety spike up in his chest when he found that there were no more seats available, so instead he took to standing. His sweaty hands gripping heavily onto the metal bar that he was sure appeared less dirty than it definitely was.

He felt his grip intensify on the unsteady metal pole as the bus began to move, and he swallowed heavily. Feeling a rich dryness in his throat as he fluttered his eyes shut, trying to ignore the sounds of coughing and laughter around him, instead focusing on the thoughts swirling madly around his brain. He was sure to anybody surrounding him that he had looked insane but at this point, he couldn't bring himself to care.

Tyler didn't move from his standing position until he felt a warm hand resting on his, and his eyes flew open, wide and searching for the source of the touch. He looked up and met eyes with a shorter boy, his bright red hair sticking up in a messy array, and his warm eyes locking with Tyler's.

"Are you okay?"

Tyler shook his head quickly, but allowed this stranger to continue holding his hand. Something about the comfort the touch was bringing him almost made the beat of his heart slow down a significant amount.

"Okay, well. My name is Josh, can I ask you to do something for me?"

Tyler nodded but cocked his head in confusion, a weak smile spread across his lips. Josh smiled wide, his eyes crinkling at the corner as he smoothed his thumb over the back of Tyler's hand. Josh's free hand reached up to grab ahold of the same pole, making sure he kept himself standing steadily as he spoke calmingly to the shaking boy in front of him.

"Can you breathe in for 9 seconds, and out for 7 with me? I'll do it with you, don't you worry."

Tyler nodded and sucked in a difficult breath, allowing his body to settle into a comfortable positioning as he breathed, watching Josh with a pointed intent. Josh smiled and uttered out a soft praise, one Tyler didn't manage to catch as he watched Josh's face.

"My name's Tyler." His voice was weak and raspy when he spoke, his cheeks reddening in embarrassment as he looked down from Josh's face.

"Nice to meet you, Tyler. Are you feeling a bit better?"

Tyler did nothing but nod his head once again.

Josh sent a soft smile in Tyler's direction.

 _"Take my seat."_


	9. Chapter 9

Tyler had spent three hours the night before in the kitchen. Nobody was a stranger to the singer's baking habits, and everybody was certain that Tyler enjoyed baking more than he enjoyed living most of his life. Everybody was okay with that, because the creations that the tall boy could create with just his hands, some spare ingredients, and a handheld mixer were absolutely breathtaking.

Tyler slept far into the afternoon, not even rising in the slightest way when Josh closed the door of their bedroom way too loud or dropped the entire soap dish off the counter of the bathroom that stood conjoined to the bedroom. He was dead to the world, a mess of overturned blankets and loud bursting snores.

When he finally rose from his sleep, he woke in a mood that outshone anything from the weeks previous. He felt as if for once in his life he had achieved something close to a good night's sleep, and it left him feeling rejuvenated. Comfortable. A smile stood heavy on his lips as he pulled one of Josh's oversized sweaters over his head, sighing happily at the scent of vanilla and lavender that graced his senses.

He made his way down the stairs, towards the ever-present echo of the television downstairs blaring. Josh always managed to listen to it way too loud, but he had grown accustomed to it. To a point where he barely even noticed it until he dwelled for quite some time on it. Before heading into the living room, he headed into the kitchen, the smile from his face slowly fading as he caught sight of the cake pan standing stationary on the counter, once filled with a red velvet cake, one he had spent hours on, now found completely and utterly empty.

His eyebrows furrowed in confusion and anger, and he grasped the cake pan in his hands, his eyes following along the edges of the pan. He groaned loudly before shouting into the hallway.

"Joshua!"

Tyler heard his boyfriend's footsteps before he saw him, but the second he came into sight his eyes narrowed at the red-haired boy who stood in only sweatpants in the middle of the dining room.

He held up the cake pan accusingly, a small frown capturing his lips as he gazed at his boyfriend. Josh's face alone seemed to go through the five stages of grief, before a small smile graced his face and he jogged over to the fridge, throwing the stainless steel door open as he rummaged around inside.

A small noise of triumph escaped from Josh's face, and Tyler furrowed his eyebrows once again in confusion, but this time even more in disappointment. When Josh's hand removed itself from the fridge, a small plate in his place. Tyler felt the anger melt from his face, and a small smile follows instead.

_"I saved you a piece."_


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tyler's mom dies in this, so just a warning that it's super sad ahh

The sky had begun to fade to gray, and Tyler stood on the porch. Allowing the cold air to bite at his ankles as he curled into himself. His body was rigid and cold, his icy hands shaking at the sides of his body. His mind was scattered, his head aching as he leaned his temple against the cement siding of his house. His breath fell from his lips in shuddered sigh, and he didn't hesitate before reaching into his pocket and pulling his previously discarded pack of cigarettes from the inside. He stuck the cylinder in his mouth and let out another sigh, lighting it up before shrinking back into himself. He busied himself with flicking the lighter on and off, his focus broken and his mind reeling.

His mother was in the hospital, and through his own selfish actions, he would not visit. His heart ached in his chest, but he knew that there was no way he'd make it through seeing her in a way that was less than beautiful, less than pristine. There was no way that he could see his own mother, unconscious, her breathing pained and stressed. There was no part of his body that could subject himself to that, and he knew. God, he knew. Just how selfish that act was, and he knew how disappointed his mother would have been in him if she was conscious to witness it. But he couldn't do it.

Josh had spent hours upon hours with his arms wrapped loosely around Tyler's shoulder, pressing mindless kisses around hopeless reassurances that what Tyler was doing was okay, that he was allowed to be unable to deal with it. He was allowed to use different ways to cope and he was allowed to feel the brunt of the event. But Tyler just couldn't believe it, because while he lay in bed, tears in his eyes and an ache in his head, his boyfriend was the one sitting beside his own mother's hospital bed, reassuring his siblings and consoling his father. When no doubt about it, it should have been him.

Zack had texted him on loop, checking on Tyler as much as he could. Tyler didn't understand why Zack was so interested in seeing how Tyler was doing, he should have been pushing Tyler into the back of his head and focusing on the most pressing issue of their mother. Tyler appreciated it nonetheless, but he had begun to ignore the texts, ignore the calls, and just enter himself into a mindset of silence.

Tyler took a long drag from his cigarette, running a hand through his messy hair as he adjusted his position on the wooden bench that he and Josh had constructed months ago. He couldn't manage to get comfortable on it, that didn't mean he was going to go back inside. He needed to clear his mind. He blew his smoke into the empty air, watching as the plumes swirled and eventually disappeared into the wind. He let out a soft hum and fluttered his eyes closed.

His eyes jumped up, looking towards the door when he heard the all too familiar squeak. He watched as his red-haired boyfriend stepped through the door, his hair seeming more pink than red. He smiled weakly, reaching out with his free hand for Josh's own. Josh gingerly grasped his hand, stepping forward and glancing at the cigarette held tightly between Tyler's fingers, he took this as his chance to snuff it out and toss it in the ashtray.

"You gotta quit, honey." Josh's voice was soft and careful, gently easing Tyler over as he settled down onto the bench beside his boyfriend, his arm loosely wrapping around Tyler's waist and pulling him against his chest.

Tyler settled his head against Josh's shoulder, a small smile pulled tight across his lips. Nuzzling his cheek into the soft cotton of Josh's favorite Nasa t-shirt. "I know, I'll work on it. I promise."

Tyler let out a soft laugh when Josh held out his pinkie, and he carefully lifted his own, wrapping it tightly around Josh's and shaking once. Josh carefully interlocked their hands, smiling at Tyler's barely there laughter.

He was shaking from his laughter when he felt his phone buzzing in his pocket, and he quickly sent a panicked look up at Josh before he pulled the vibrating phone from his pocket, letting go of Josh's hand and leaning desperately against his side. At the sight of Zack's contact name, he took a deep breath and accepted the call, pressing the phone to his ear.

"Hello?"

"Hey, um. I know- this probably isn't a call you wanted to receive. Hell, this wasn't a call I ever wanted to make but, uh. Mom, she's-"

Zack cut off and Tyler went silent, he felt tears form in his eyes and he clutched Josh's shirt with his free hand, holding his breath for as long as he could.

"She's- gone."

Tyler let in a sharp intake of breath, allowing a weak sob to escape from his lips as he pressed himself further into Josh. Grasping onto any comfort he could have found in the arms of his boyfriend. He focused on the movements of Josh's hand against his arm and allowed the tears to flow freely.

"And I know, you probably want to be alone right now. So, I'm just gonna go. Please, take care of yourself, Tyler. I love you."

Tyler felt his heart shattering in his chest as the line went dead, and he allowed his phone to drop devastatingly onto the pavement beneath their feet. At this moment caring not if the screen had shattered into a million pieces.

"Tyler?" Josh's voice was pleading, but calm, wrapping his arms firmly around the silently crying boy.

"She's gone, Josh-"

His voice cut off into silence, allowing his body to be consumed by Josh's. His tears falling freely and noises of distress escaping into the air around them."

_"I'm sorry for your loss."_


	11. Chapter 11

Tyler's breath was rising through the sky in puffs of smoke by the time his walking footsteps finally reached its destination outside of his house. He fumbled around in his bag for his keys, his numb fingers showing Tyler's regret for not bringing gloves. He was desperately in need of a cup of hot chocolate, a bath, and a warm body to lay beside. 

He let out a sigh of relief when he found his keys, struggling to find the correct one before jamming it haphazardly into the hole. With minimal effort, the door unlocked and Tyler rushed inside, nearly slamming the door behind him in his rush to feel warmth once again. He tossed his bag and keys on the counter beside the door as he kicked off his shoes, shivering slightly as he undid his jacket and fought to get it off of him. 

Tyler wrapped cold arms around his shaking body as he made his way to the kitchen, the blanket that he had used during the morning still wrapped around his seat at the table. He let out a barely there laugh and wrapped it around his shoulders, quickly making his way over to the Keurig and tapping it on. 

He finally tapped the size cup he needed on the machine when a loud groan caught his attention, he placed the mug underneath the machine and looked around in confusion. He didn't think Josh would have been home. He had plans to go out with a friend for a few hours, he wasn't expected to come home until later in the night. 

Tyler searched the hallways, peeked his head in his and Josh's room, his eyes narrowing in confusion as he passed through the next empty rooms. When another groan rang out through the room, he followed the noise. His eyes widened as he stepped into the living-room. His eyes traveling across the floor and towards the curled up mound on the couch. 

Hundreds of candy wrappers littered the floor, the box that Tyler had bought only 7 hours before left abandoned on the ground beside the couch, and Josh himself was on the couch, drowning slowly in plastic wrappers and regret. 

"Josh?" Tyler offered weakly, stepping closer to the assumed sleeping body on the couch. The second his name was spoken his eyes fluttered open weakly, a small barely there smile spreading across his chapped lips. Tyler's own face melted into a smile as Josh scooted over, allowing Tyler enough room to sit down on the edge of the cushion beside him. 

Tyler settled down beside him, bringing a hand to rest on Josh's clammy forehead. The boy looked absolutely sick, and there was no doubt about the reason at hand. Tyler smiled softly and leaned forward to press a soft kiss to Josh's cheek, letting out a soft laugh when Josh hummed excitedly. "Honey, you shouldn't have eaten this much candy. You look absolutely awful." 

"Gee, thanks for destroying my self-esteem, Tyler. I love you too." Josh muttered sarcastically, following it by a soft laughter. Tyler smiled weakly, reaching down with his still-cold hands to grasp the box of candy that he was assuming to still be a little bit full. He was proven wrong when he peeked inside, taking notice of not only the empty box but the amount of wrappers that fell around it when he lifted it off the ground. 

"Josh, seriously? What inclined you to eat this much candy. I would seriously want to die if I ate that much." He raised his eyes curiously at his boyfriend, a weak frown wrapped across his lips. 

"Welcome to my club, I very much want to die. Would you like to join me in this?" 

"Even if I wanted to, I couldn't. You ate all of the candy. That I bought this morning. For the both of us." He chuckled weakly, reaching forward to ruffle Josh's faded red hair gently.

Josh shuffled his movements, holding a finger up towards Tyler's face, shushing Tyler as he reached around his body. Candy wrappers falling off of the couch like falling snow during a blizzard. He pulled a chocolate bar from the side of his body, a look of triumph on his face as he held the squished O'Henry in Tyler's direction. 

"You can have half."


	12. Chapter 12

Josh had taken a quick liking to the use of special effects makeup and fake blood, and was quite proud of the looks he had created on the youth who allowed him to use their faces as his canvas, and Tyler just stuck to the sidelines, a smile on his face as he handed makeup brushes and bottles of unknown substances in Josh's direction. He was enjoying just watching from the sidelines.

Now, here they were. Stuck in a small shack on the sidelines of the building. Terrified screams and moans becoming background sound to the concession stand that they were supposed to be running. Nobody had shown of course, with the rain that was falling heavily against the gravel of the parking lot, everybody had chosen the Haunted House instead. After a few hours of silence, they had decided to shut down the stand. They were advised to do such by Jenna, who knew on the sudden change of weather that not many people would like to stop by and stand in the rain to buy a few things.

Tyler slipped his hand into Josh's, leaning lightly into the taller boy's body. Josh smiled and wrapped his free arm around Tyler's side. It didn't take long before he noticed that Tyler's body was shaking uncontrollably. The light sweater that Tyler had wrapped his body in hadn't turned out to be as warm as he expected it to.

"You cold, angel?" Josh asked, leaning his head forward to press a gentle kiss to Tyler's temple. A small smile pulled across his lip as Tyler looked out, his teeth pressing into his bottom lip to pause the chattering of them. He let out a weak chuckle and nodded his head, pressing his head gently into Josh's neck.

Tyler slipped his cold hands underneath Josh's shirt, a soft squeak falling from Josh's lips if piano hands the temperature of ice pressed against his lower abdomen. Tyler let out a loud laugh, pushing his fingers up further, earning another loud shout and Josh fishing Tyler's icy fingers out of his shirt.

Tyler took a step back, leaning against the wooden frame of the shack, his body still shaking violently as his eyes traced along the body of his boyfriend. Josh slowly slid the jacket from his shoulders, revealing the bright pink cardigan that he was wearing underneath the jacket and overtop of his t-shirt.

Tyler's eyebrows rose in confusion, a weak frown slipping across his lips. Josh handed his heavy camouflage jacket towards Tyler's shaking body.

_"Take my jacket, it's cold outside."_

 


	13. Chapter 13

As the time ticked past 8 o’clock, the unsettled feeling in the pit of Tyler’s stomach tightened even further. He pulled himself together on the couch, wrapped in his boyfriend’s over-sized hoodie and a loose blanket that lay sprawled across the cushions. Tyler’s breathing was uneven, the anxiety in his bones taking control of the breaths he took. Each breath fell from his lips like heavy smoke and he was struggling not to choke on the bitter air. Try as he may, the calming patterns he was tracing on his thighs with shaky fingers. Wasn’t calming the bitter ache that spread its way through his chest cavity.

He just wanted Josh to come home.

Dinner lay on the table, going cold in the lukewarm air that flooded through the messy house that Tyler hadn’t had the energy to clean in the many day’s passing. Tyler was tired, depression soaking through his bones and making him numb to the uncleanliness surrounding him. He wished for once second that he could have a few minutes of serenity from the anxiety and numbness coursing its way through his aching body. He wished that his boyfriend would spring through the door at any moment, pulling the lanky boy into arms strong and willing to bring nothing but comfort. But he didn’t, and Tyler wasn’t exactly sure if he should wait anymore.

With limbs attached to cement bricks he rose from the couch, wrapping his shaking arms around his frail body as he made his way to the kitchen. He grabbed the plates from dining table haphazardly, storing the remaining food in the Tupperware containers his mother had insisted she bring along with them when they moved. He would never deny that they were a good inheritance, but he wanted this food to be eaten tonight. He spent almost three hours in the kitchen preparing a meal that Josh would come home to. But he didn’t come home.

It was the third night that week that Tyler had been left in the dark, his boyfriend coming through the door after Tyler had long since fallen asleep. The fragile boy wrapped in the heavy duvet on their bed with dried tear tracks staining the expanse of his cheeks. Josh never said anything, and he slipped into bed with a silent kiss to Tyler’s forehead and a slowly holding arm falling around Tyler’s waist. Tyler didn’t say anything either.

He still kissed Josh good morning, whispered sweet nothings into his ear to wake the taller boy from his slumber. Josh still smiled at him, the Earth shattering wide smile that filled happiness into every joint and crease in his entire body. Although things were messy, Tyler had never felt as much joy as he did waking up beside Josh. But for some reason, it felt different.

Tyler tossed the containers into the fridge along with his messy feelings, slamming the stainless steel door shut in the frustration that began to file through his system. He ran his hand through his hair, tugging roughly at the short strands and begging his mind to stop reeling, stop giving him opportunities or suggestions of what could be happening that made his hair stand on end.

Tyler was tired.

With a heavy breath and a sigh of discontent, Tyler began to make his way up the stairs. Intending to end his night the same way he had for the last three days. With half a bottle of wine and a whole lot of unnecessary tears.

Tyler’s body shook when the front door slid open, a panting and soaking wet Josh standing in the doorway with a look of fear, a look of regret laced through the pores in his face. Tyler couldn’t feel anything, but he was sure that if he could. He would feel pity for his boyfriend, feel pity for the look on his face and the water dripping down the expanse of his back. But Tyler could only watch, watch as Josh approached him, watched as Josh pulled a small velvet box from the back of his pocket, and watch in shock as Josh opened it, standing in front of him with blue dye dripping down his face from the rain and the freshly dyed hair.

_“I’m so sorry I’m late.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> indeed, this was a proposal. shittily done at best, but i wrote this in my spare block at school while having an anxiety attack, so pls bare w me.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> they smoke weed in this chapter sorry i am a slut for stoner joshler

A worn down blanket was spread across the grass of the backyard, shaky hands packing bowls and small kisses spread between two tired boys. Tyler leaned his head against skillful shoulders, watching Josh's calloused hands. He twisted the heavy feeling lighter in his fingers, tracing the igniter and lighting the flame for a brief moment before he dropped it onto the blanket, the cold air biting at his lips as he kissed the nape of Josh's neck. "Do you want some this time? I know sometimes you're not in the mood." 

Josh's smirk caused a loud laugh to escape from Tyler's lips, and he drank in the sound of Josh's breathing as he wrapped his arms haphazardly around the larger boy's waist. He nodded his head slowly, but the way Josh's mocha eyes scanned his hazy ones, he knew the boy was looking for more than just a head movement. "I'm sure, I think I really need it tonight, y'know. Just, need some time to. Relax." Josh nodded silently in agreement.

Josh smiled, a crinkly smile that touched Tyler's heart in the simplest of ways, and he couldn't quite fight his own crooked smile away. He watched as Josh reached into the small bag against his left hip, the opaque lace shining vaguely against the glow of Josh's phone flashlight. When Josh pulled the pipe out of his backpack, Tyler's jaw dropped. Tyler quickly pulled it from Josh's grip, holding it gently in between his palms. The purple fluorite flickered in his eyes and his eyes widened as he traced the fingers across the polished sides. Josh's laughter filled the air. 

"It's new."

"I can tell." 

Josh gingerly took it back, pulling a small mason jar full of the ground up weed and uncapped it. Pulling a small pinch from the glass jar and gently pushing the herb into the bowl, he filled it to the top. A small smile spreading across his face as he held up a hand, looking for the lighter. Tyler gladly handed it over to him. Josh put the end of the pipe to his lips, making innocent eye contact with Tyler through half-lidded eyes. He lit the lighter, holding it to the green mess that was tucked nicely into the bowl of his pipe. Tyler smiled as he watched Josh inhale, the boy leaning his head backward and exhaling the thick smoke in plumes towards the night sky. 

Tyler hesitantly took the pipe from Josh's hands, along with the warm lighter. He pulled the pipe to his lips as Josh leaned back on his hands, watching Tyler with a dreamy look in his eyes as he leaned forward to press kisses to Tyler's shoulder. Tyler giggled before igniting the lighter and inhaling his own fair amount of the thickened smoke, a soft smile spreading across his face as he held it in his lungs, slowly letting it fall from his slightly opened lips. 

Tyler let out a weak cough, his lungs still not used to being exposed to the thick smoke. He handed the pipe back, leaning to the side and burrowing himself in Josh's lap as he allowed himself to relax. Josh smiled halfheartedly, leaning down to press a gentle kiss to Tyler's forehead. Taking a moment to finish off his bowl before he settled the pipe gently onto the blanket beside the two of them. 

Tyler pulled his phone from his pocket, allowing Josh to run his hands gently through the feathery mess of Tyler's hair. He smiled wide and stared at Tyler with a look of adoration, of comfort. Tyler couldn't fight the smile off his face as he searched for his music app, pulling up an album that he and Josh loved just the same. 

He placed his phone back onto the blanket as the soft noise of Venus by Sleeping at Last floated through the air around them, and Tyler let out a sharp gasp as Josh rose from the blanket, stepping out onto the grass and allowing Tyler's body to fall haphazardly onto the hard ground beneath the blanket. "Josh, what are you doing?" 

Josh got down on one knee, extending his hand to the boy who was sprawled across the ground. 

"Can I have this dance?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok i know this is totally not how u smoke weed i am still a baby stoner and i already quit because my gay ass GREENED OUT lmao kill me


	15. Chapter 15

Tyler was on his way home from a particularly stressful day at work. His window was rolled halfway down despite the cold arctic air that bit at his cheeks and neck, and a lit cigarette was held between his fingers. He was too fueled up to even begin to care about the littering of accumulated ash across the dashboard. He was absolutely exhausted and willing to do anything at this point to just ease the edge off his tensed shoulders. But he was wholly and completely focused on just getting home to his boyfriend.

Tyler was a people person. Somebody with a heart ten times too large, somebody who struggled to see somebody else in distress without stepping into action. He had spent over an hour in his 8-hour shift being yelled at over things he was doing wrong in mundane tasks such as stocking, or just not knowing where the fuck the diaper rash cream was. He let out a sigh and tossed his cigarette out the window. Just to put the icing on the cake, he had to sit there and observe as an older couple spoke to a young woman and her girlfriend in an obscene matter, telling them they were disgusting just for the sore fact that they were gay. From personal experience, Tyler's heart hadn't stopped racing. He wanted nothing more than to throw himself over his counter and drown the couple in heavily heated words. But he had to resort to keeping calm and calling his manager to his register to alert him of the situation.

Despite Mark quickly ushering the older couple out of the store, and apologizing profusely to the young women. Tyler couldn't fight off the ache in his chest that remained until the end of the day, his mind had fallen into nothing as he spent the rest of the day in a completely crestfallen state.

He just wanted a hug.

Tyler found himself a block away from home, his head still spinning and an ache in his bones that was further exhausting him and spiraling into nothing. As he pulled into the driveway, he left the car idling. Allowing the shitty coffee shop station that Josh always listened to file through the speakers. Filling his ears with unpleasant noise, but noise nonetheless. He let out a loud sigh and pulled the pack of smokes out of the glove compartment, pulling his second to last smoke out of the cardboard container and settled it between his lips. He momentarily found the lighter he was looking for and ignited it, taking a deep inhale of the putrid smoke. Tyler knew Josh wouldn't be pleased that he was smoking, let alone in the vehicle they both shared. But he was sure that the older man wouldn't be too angry, would just overwhelm his senses with questions of, "Why?"

He didn't have the answers to those questions.

His breath caught in his throat when he caught sight of the front door opening and his pink haired boyfriend making his way down the porch steps. He decided against throwing the cigarette out the window, the smoke was already lingering in the air, he'd find out anyway. So, all he did was take another drag. Josh slid open the passenger door of the car, settling himself into the leather seats. To Tyler's surprise, he didn't grimace, he didn't question. He took the lit cigarette from between Tyler's fingers and took a drag himself. He handed it back to his starstruck boyfriend and leaned his head against the headrest. "Hard day?"

"Yeah."

"Me too."

Tyler handed the cigarette back to Josh after having another drag, allowing the boy to finish it. He stepped out of the vehicle, locking his door behind him and allowing Josh to follow close on his heels. "I had an intuition that you were having a bad day too. So, I whipped up a little something."

Tyler raised his eyebrows and stepped forward into the house, the sweet smell of banana bread and hot chocolate hitting his senses.

_"I made your favorite."_

Tyler finally got his hug. 


	16. Chapter 16

Tyler had woken up over an hour ago. A nightmare shaking him down to the core and spreading fear through every vein in his body. He wanted to fall back asleep, allow the fear to drain from his body along with his blood. But he couldn't, and he wouldn't even try. His body was vibrating, anxiety spreading across the pale portions of his skin and sadness drenching his body in ice.

He couldn't shake the flashes of black and red. He couldn't shake the feeling of his skin darkening beneath his fingertips. He couldn't rid the flashing pictures of stab wounds and forming bruises. He gripped onto his sheets as if it was the only thing keeping him grounded on this planet. He raised a hand to his mouth, in an awful attempt to muffle the sob that was about to fall in waves from his lips. He rolled over, his shaking body facing in the opposite direction of his sleeping boyfriend. The light noises Josh was making in his sleep, along with the sheets, were the only thing keeping gravity from just falling out.

He traced his bare rib cage with a shaking finger, over the position he had witnessed a knife with a black tinted handle entering into his lungs. He wasn't sure if in the dream if it had been himself doing the action, or if it was the tall figure that lurked in the shadow with an unhinged jaw and an attraction to the scent of blood. He let out a harsh whimper, taking a deep breath of stale air and pulled the blankets up over his head.

Somehow, this had been the action that had startled Josh from his sleep. He hadn't jumped, but his eyes flew open as he stared silently at the popcorn ceiling. He sat in silence, racking his exhaustion ridden brain for a cause of the sudden rise from his fantastic dream. He took notice of the lack of blankets on the right half of his body, and he reached to pull it back on top of it. But instead, his hand was pressed against the back of his boyfriend. He rubbed his hand across the gentle skin. "Tyler?"

Tyler's body began to shake underneath Josh's fingers, and only then did he come to enough to notice the gentle sobbing that was falling from his boyfriend's lips. He rose into a sitting position, scooching closer to Tyler's shaking body and gently twisting his fingers in Tyler's hair. Carding his fingers through the mess atop his head. Tyler began to shake harder, the movements of his body causing Josh's heart to ache in his chest.

He ran his fingers over Tyler's shoulders, massaging his hands gently across his body. Doing his best to ease his tense muscles and bring some relief to the body he was sure was aching. "Baby, do you wanna talk?"

Tyler nuzzled his head into the blanket, shaking his head into the fabric and shaking his head. Josh let out a sigh and forcefully rolled Tyler over, settling back onto the bed and pulling the blankets around himself. He pressed a gentle kiss to Tyler's forehead, using his fingers to wipe the gentle falling tears from Tyler's eyes.

"I'm sorry I woke you up." Tyler stuttered out through his broken sobs.

Through his lie, Josh spoke back.

"It's okay. I couldn't sleep anyway."


	17. Chapter 17

The cold hung heavy in the air, reducing the function in the feeble hands of Tyler. But despite the strengthening cold and his shaking shoulders; the hand held in his own kept the smile plastered across his crooked teeth. He had barely even noticed the water that began to leech into his old, hole-ridden shoes before Josh had looked down. A soft laugh escaping his lips as he leaned over to press a kiss to Tyler's right cheek. "I suppose we'll have to invest in getting you new shoes, huh?"

Tyler allowed his laughter to follow suit, bumping his shoulder into Josh's as he leaned against him. Their destination was undecided, but here they were. Cold biting at their cheeks as they'd traveled down an empty gravel road they were almost certain they'd never come across before. But instead of stopping, they continued. Their own craving to experiencing a completely new adventure together overpowering the cold they felt through the many layers that shrouded their bodies. Thankfully, the sun was beginning to peak out through the loads, it's light falling warm and soft among the many points of the mountains surrounding them. Tyler was overwhelmingly happy.

It had been many years since Tyler had been able to find happiness in existing, and all on Josh's behalf. He had been brought from the lowest and most saddening part of his life and exposed to a brighter, more promising aspect that he never wished to leave. His family had told him, "You'll never be able to truly love someone, until you love yourself." Josh, had proven that statement wrong. Sometimes the only way to find the bright portions inside of yourself you need to let somebody else reach deeper, you need to allow somebody access to the darkest and most complex vaults of your brain. Once somebody has done that, and can still see the good that lingers within. You will never feel alone, or selfish, or pointless. As long as you focus on the positivity of their words, and maintain a confidence in them. It was just as easy for Tyler to love himself, once he had loved Josh.

Tyler, lost and absorbed in his own thoughts. Hadn't even noticed that they had turned into the forest until Josh let out a soft cough, before brushing a branch away from their path. Tyler smiled, but raised an eyebrow in slight confusion. "Are you sure that this is the safest idea?"

Josh nodded his head, his red hair glinting in the rays of the sun.

**_"Watch your step."_ **


End file.
